Ruby’s 2 Month Stats

29 Aug

Ruby had her 2 Month checkup today! She is still tiny- weighing in at 9lbs 4oz (What Michael weighed when he was born). I was feeling pretty bummed because I was worried the Dr would be upset about her weight, but she actually said she was in the 15-25th percentile and not worried. I asked the Dr if Ruby only gaining 3-4oz a week is something we should be concerned about and she said as long as she is gaining and developing normally there is nothing to worry about. Babygirl is now 23 inches long, she has very long legs. The Dr was very impressed with Ruby’s strength! She can hold her head up pretty well and when she is on her tummy can do a ‘lil baby push up move that is so cute. She also is trying very hard to roll over already. The Dr kept saying, “That’s 4 month stuff!” For something so little she packs a lot of energy! It is so adorable watching her smile now and listening to her make noises. I pretty much cry almost every time she starts cooing at me. I know, I know…but I can’t help it!

‘Lil baby pushup (iPhones need flash).

Kisses.

At her appointment 🙂

Oh!! Also? We have been hard at work on Ruby’s nursery. At first we were planning to do a shared room for the kids, but we changed our minds. They are different people and deserve their own space. I can’t wait to share it with you guys when we are done!!

Ruby Mae is 8 Weeks

18 Aug

Little Sister

17 Aug

This onesie Ruby is wearing (below) is more important to me than any of the others. After Michael and I found out we were having a daughter, we rushed to the store(s) to buy something for her. We found this at Babies R Us and have looked forward to seeing her in it ever since. We have this crappy cell phone picture (that I adore) of Jude holding this onesie up, smiling so big. It was taken on Valentines Day, when we met with our families to share our gender revealing news. It blows my mind still, that she is here. Healthy, gorgeous and happy. That we have a daughter. That Jude has a sister. It’s just so incredible. I worried so much before she was born, that I would never be able to love her as much as I adore Jude. Somehow, (just like all the experienced Mamas in my life assured me) your heart just grows.

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Skinniest City in the US

12 Aug

Great news everyone! This fat ass is living in the

SKINNIEST CITY IN THE UNITED STATES.

I couldn’t make this up if I tried, people.

Which seems kind of ironic considering Roseville, CA

is also home to 2, 279 restaurants.

One of which my husband is a chef at, does that give me any kind of excuse? No? Oh, fine.

So, about 15 months ago I wrote this life-changing blog (anonymously) about my life-long struggle with weight issues.

I am happy to report that the next day, this girl began working out and eating well. In fact, before getting pregnant with Ruby, I lost about 65lbs!!! I have gained back about 15lbs in the last 10 months. BUT I am ready to re-start my weight-loss journey and get back to eating well and working out (received clearance from my Dr on Monday). I have been pregnant 20 months out of the last 3 years and I am ready to get back to feeling good. This May some very dear friends of ours are having a wedding that Michael & I are honored to be in it, I would like to stand up in front of everyone with confidence!

So…who is with me?

Ruby is 7 Weeks Young!

11 Aug

7 weeks along and she already seems to sleep better than her brother. It’s so interesting how different these two are already. Jude was wide awake from the get go, independent, wiggly and hyper! Ruby seems so sweet, calm and cuddly. Since we are pretty sure we won’t be having anymore children, it’s amazing having a tiny little cuddlebug. It does make me emotional to think this will be the last squishy teeny baby we will ever have! So I’m trying to focus on all the special moments we get to share. She has been sleeping from about 9-10 until 3-4 and then eats for about 30ish minutes then back to sleep until 7, eats again and then sleeps until 9. I’m not sure if it will last, but I will take it! Jude is doing so much better adjusting to his sibling. He just loves giving Ruby kisses, bringing her paci, patting her head and trying to share his snacks with her. Every morning Michael gets up, changes Jude’s diaper and brings him into our bed. Jude comes in with a loud, “Hiiiii!” and runs over to give sissy big kisses with a loud, “Muuuahhhhh!”. It’s the best way to start your day, I highly recommend it.

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Video: San Francisco Trip

10 Aug

This past Sunday we nervously (and excitedly) packed both kids into the car to take them to the San Francisco Children’s Museum (aka Zeum). Zeum offers FREE admission the first Saturday & Sunday of the month to Bank of America card holders.

We also took the kids to Ocean Beach, the same beach we took Jude to his first time seeing the ocean.

It was definitely an adventure taking both children on a road trip for the first time! It made for a long day/evening, but was well worth it.

Here is a summery of our day:

Ruby Mae’s Birth Video

5 Aug

Only took me 6 weeks

If you missed it, here is Ruby’s Birth Story.

Nothing better.

4 Aug

This evening I was sitting in the living room nursing Ruby while Jude played. She decided she was full, so I placed her looking over my left shoulder to burp (even ladies have to burp sometimes). Jude came over to me and laid his head on my knee. I asked him if he felt left out and wanted to sit on my lap too? He instantly climbed onto my lap and placed his head on my right shoulder. So there I sat, both of my babies giving me cuddles. I had a big grin and a few tears of joy. Knowing it would only last a few minutes, I tried to appreciate every second. Because no matter how much stress or anxiety raising children may bring, there is nothing better or more baffling than the ridiculous bliss a moment like this can bring. I am the luckiest.

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Sibling love.

1 Aug

Maybe I CAN actually do this?

29 Jul

Wednesday was a horrible day. I felt like I was drowning, as if I was being swallowed whole. I was tired and bored, Jude was tired and bored.

Ever have those days where you feel like you don’t have a single friend or person who cares in your life? Maybe that isn’t a normal feeling, but I’ve struggled with these kinds of feelings my entire life. Such a “poor me” victim attitude to have (and completely untrue) but yet I still have them. Well, I was having one of those days, on the verge of tears. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of breast-milk, poopy diapers and Sesame Street. I kept having these overwhelming thoughts:

Will I ever sleep again?

Do people still want to be friends with me now that I have two children?

How can we afford this?

Am I mature enough to handle something like this?

Ect.

Complete self doubt.

To make matters worse, Michael was scheduled to go out to celebrate his Mother’s birthday that evening (Ya, he went to a coupon class with her…because he wanted to…but that is a story for another day.) so I was going to be home alone with the kids for 12 hours straight. He came home for an hour after work and I SO desperately wanted to put on a happy face and convince him that I was ecstatic that he was able to get out of the house and go have fun (as much fun as I assume a person can have at a coupon class).

For the record, I was happy for him- just not for me. I knew his Mom deserved to have her time with him and definitely deserved to be celebrated. Yet as soon as he walked in the door, I began crying. The silent, slow and pathetic cry…where you are trying really hard not to cry (because you lie to yourself saying somewhere in your mind that you have willpower, that you know deep down you don’t have) but it only makes the crying worse because if you don’t allow the tears to come it feels as though the back of your throat and temples will simultaneously explode. That.

Of course Michael tried to be sympathetic and talk with me. Of course… I was a huge asshole and just pretended like nothing was wrong. He even brought me dinner and let me take a shower before he left, which somehow only made me feel worse. Why is it excruciating when someone is considerate to you, thus interrupting the fact that you are trying so hard to make yourself feel horrible? Didn’t he know how undeserving of chicken strips and tater tots I was? I mean, honestly. He is SUCH a douche sometimes.

Finally it was time for him to skip off to Coupon Club Anonymous or whatever (sorry honey, I’m not letting this go for awhile…) and I tried to fake a smile and send him on his way. Jude was upset and started banging on our bay window (that looks out to the car that Michael was driving away in) screaming and crying. I tried to soothe him, but who was I kidding? I couldn’t even soothe myself. “Okay Budgie, Daddy will be home soon.” I told him in a broken voice. (I certainly won’t be talking anyone off a ledge anytime soon.) I sat and sobbed for 5 minutes silently while Jude redirected his attention to a piece of paper he could shred in the living room. (Don’t judge him- it’s his thing, people.)

So there I was all evening… convinced I was the worlds fattest, ugliest, least successful, gigantic mom-failure. Feeling really sorry for myself.

Until eventually (around 1am) I made it to sleep and the most amazing thing happened, I woke up and IT WAS A NEW DAY. Because that is the gift we are given, that we can begin a new routine anytime we want. In fact a very wise person once told me “You can re-start your day at any time” and so can be said for re-starting your week I figured. I got up, got the kids ready and had a fabulous day with Aunt Nicole and Ari at the pool. No one got hurt, I didn’t cry, no one hated me and I even had fun. I came home and our friends Nick, Jaime, baby Josie and Luke came over and we had a fantastic time. I laughed, people still loved me and crazily enough- still wanted to be my friend even though I had two kids. Earth shattering, I know.

{Secret? I even had a cocktail when Ruby fell asleep. I felt giggly, drank the whole damn thing and it was delicious.}

AND THEN…the most amazing thing happened (and I’m certain it will never happen again because I’m bragging about it on the internet) Ruby slept… for SEVEN! HOURS! STRAIGHT!

Did I stud-ah?

YES!! SEVENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. 1, 2, 3 ,4, 5 ,6, 7.

Okay, I’m done jinxing myself.

Anyways, I actually got some sleep and so did the rest of my family. I woke up (in complete shock), got the kids ready and took them to The Fountains to play and take Jude to the Splash park. It wasn’t perfect, he threw two huge tantrums…BUT…no one bled, puked, died, etc. I was fine, they were fine. People stared at me during his fit and I just waved and smiled. Why? Because I’m a damn good Mom with two beautiful children and I’m doing the best that I can. So suck on that. (And Lady? You are lucky I don’t stare down your kid for that disaster of an outfit. “My Mom loves me” Really?! No one cares. NO ONE .) I can’t continue hiding in my house because I’m afraid of what COULD happen. I don’t want to live my life in fear, my family doesn’t deserve that. I don’t deserve that. Jude deserves to go play with kids his age and throw tantrums to embarrass his Mom. He’s almost 2 (hold me babyjesusinheaven) and that is what crazy-almost-two-year-olds do.

And maybe next week if I start feeling sorry for myself, like the moron that I (sometimes) am, I can come back here and re-read this last part a few times.

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Now who wants to see photos of my insanley adorable babies?

You got it, dude.

Tantrum.

Happy.

Angel.

Kisses 🙂