June. Really?

1 Jun

{35 weeks, 3 days}

I’m kind of peeing my pants/having a minor panic attack seeing JUNE pop up on my calendar today. It can’t be June, because that means we are only weeks from JULY at which point we will be meeting darling Ruby for the first time. Notice how I’m not even considering the fact she could potentially come this month? Good. Which, of course I’m excited about her birth and all…(well, I’m excited when I’m not thinking, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!!”)…but I’m also extremely nervous.

Over the past week or so we have been putting all the thoughtful and generous gifts from the baby shower away, trying to get the house more organized. Jude & Ruby will be “sharing a room” but she will be co-sleeping at night in our bedroom. So, we have been organizing their closet, etc. Its been hard for me because I keep feeling these twinges of guilt about putting her things into Jude’s room. It probably sounds silly, but its just a different feeling. Even though I’ve been told over and over that your heart always has room to grow for another child, I still get these moments of guilt and fear. The last 20 months I have been 110% dedicated to Jude and I’s growing relationship. We spend all day every day together and in many ways he is my best friend. We have our routine, our inside jokes, etc.

I know deep down in my (over analyzing) heart that Ruby will bring so much more joy and happiness to us all than we ever could have imagined and for that I am truly excited. Its just hitting me a little hard in these last few weeks of “just the three of us”. The end of pregnancy hormones, sleep apnea and discomfort do not help anyone think rationally. I know I am no exception to this. And speaking of feeling like crap? I do. I finally am at a place where I can no longer say, “I’m feeling great! I don’t even feel pregnant!!”. Because I do, all of the time. I feel huge, lazy and tired. It hasn’t helped that Jude’s allergies have been acting up and we have spent a lot of time trapped in doors. Last week poor baby was miserable.

We spent a lot of time doing this:

& this:

& this

You get the idea.

But, he in finally getting a little bit better and we are hopefully going to get some fresh air in our lungs. It should do ALL of us  some good.

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3 Responses to “June. Really?”

  1. Leanna June 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    I soooo know what you mean about the guilt and fear thing. I still have months and months to go, and I’m already feeling sad when I think about the fact that it’ll only be me and Gus for a while longer. Then I feel guilty about feeling THAT, because I already love Swarley, and can’t wait to meet him/her! Being a mom is weird.

    I am so excited and so happy that you get to meet Ruby soon, and I KNOW that Jude is going to be an amazing big brother. ❤

    • fancyandfriends June 1, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

      Thanks Leanna. I’m glad to know I am not alone in these feelings. I am so excited that we are both pregnant again at the same time 🙂

  2. Arianna June 4, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    I’m the latest ever, but TIFFANY!!! YOU LOOK AMAAAAAAAZIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!

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